Hopefully you had the opportunity to read “Our Sweet Boy Part 1″ Posted by Staci a few weeks ago. If you haven’t you can get to it by clicking HERE (click the word “here”). I don’t want to repeat too much of what Staci wrote, I just hope to give you a little perspective on how it felt to become a dad the day that Josiah was born. Also, this is my third attempt at trying to complete this post, so I’ve decided to shorten it some anyway. So hopefully you can read along and enjoy.
As Staci mentioned in her post, on Tuesday, July 3, we headed to the hospital early in the morning to meet our little guy later that day. I was pretty excited. I’ve never been to the hospital for myself before (and I guess technically I still haven’t, but this is the closest I’ve gotten). Staci got prepped and I got into my scrubs. The doctors/nurses filled us in on the process of trying to get our baby turned so that he could come into the world facing the right direction and what the procedure would be in case of the need of a C-section. This is where things started getting intense and more real in my mind; I didn’t want there anything to happen to my little boy that would hurt him. I listened intently.
This is where being a father up until our baby actually being with us was so hard — all you want to do is fix things that you just cant fix.
For example: when Staci was dealing with morning sickness, the best I could do was help her avoid the food that turned her stomach and keep her hair out of the way when she was bent over the side of the toilet. Or when Staci was put on bed rest, the best I could do was get her what she needed which I know was a big help, but I couldn’t fix the problem. Then Josiah never turned the right direction for delivery and there was nothing I could do… helplessness is not a fun place to be
So I got all “scrubbed” up and ready to go
When our doctor began the procedure it was another one of the toughest things I’ve had to sit through. She had to press on Staci’s belly, and our baby boy, as hard as she could to try to get him turned around. Staci was in so much pain, and all I could picture was our little boy on the inside getting so sad and hurt. Once again, the best I could do was stand there and let Staci squeeze my had till I had no feeling left in my fingers and continue to encourage her to be strong and tell her that she was doing such a good job. After 4 tries and about 20 minutes with no results the doctor, and Staci, finally conceded that this boy was going to stay breach. So we moved over to surgery.
For the next 10 or so minutes I waited outside the surgery area as they prepped Staci and got her nice and numb from the chest down. As I waited, the anxiety sort of reminded me of waiting to see Staci on our wedding day. Of course, there were a lot of other nerves running through my body like fear. I didn’t know how things were going to turn out. I knew that God had things under control, and I had to continue to remind myself of that and just breathe deeply. Talk about the longest 10 minutes of my life. In fact I started to wonder if they might have forgotten that I was standing outside, but then I knew that there was no way in the world that Staci would let them touch her before I was in the room with her.
Eventually I was called back to the room, and it felt like I had stepped into an episode of ER. Like I said before, I’ve never had any kind surgery or been in the hospital for any kind of procedure. The lights were shining down over Staci’s belly with about 5 doctors and nurses surrounding her working away. I looked at Staci and thankfully she was so peaceful which helped set my heart at ease. I didn’t really know what to do while we waited so I told her about waiting in the hall, and we made some small talk about how crazy it was that our son was going to be with us any second. Before we knew it we heard little baby moans and groans coming from across the curtain that separated the surgery from our faces. My eyes started to well up as I told Staci “That’s our baby boy!” Then our doctor called the birth time and lifted him up for us to see! It was a moment like I’ve never experienced my entire life.
This was a picture we took after seeing our baby boy for the first time:
Yes, if you can’t tell, there are a few little tears rolling down my cheeks.
The nurses then took our boy to get him cleaned up and I had my first opportunity hold him in my arms. It’s funny how I’ve never been much of a baby holder, but as soon as the nurses handed Josiah to me, I felt like I had been doing it for years (paternal instincts I guess).
I’ve never felt so much pride and joy and good feelings all at one time! It’s so crazy to think that I was part of making a brand new life.
I know that it had to be hard for Staci not to be able to hold him right away because of the C-Section, but I have to admit that it was a pretty special thing to be the first one (besides doctors) to hold our son. The nurses had to take him to the nursery, and it was hard to leave Staci behind but I knew the doctors were going to take good care of her.
We got up to the nursery and they weighed our little boy who came out to be 7 pounds and 19 inches long. It was a really special time getting to stay with our little baby boy for the first hour or so. During this time I had two of the most memorable moments of my life:
1) When Josiah first grabbed on to my finger while he was laying in his baby bed!
2) When our family came to the window and all stared in at him with so much pride and excitement! Now that I think about it, I wish I had a picture from that moment.
Eventually I got to go back and see Staci and show her all the pictures I had taken of our little guy! It was a really sweet moment for the two of us. Then I headed back to the nursery while they took Staci from surgery recovery to her room. On my way back to the nursery I was able to see the family and talk with them about it all and show them some of the pictures too! It was such an awesome time to spend together.
We finally were able to all head over to where Staci was at and she had her first moment holding our little guy. It turned out to be a crazy first couple of days with Staci unable to get out of bed. Thankfully with my mom and her mom there they were able to help walk me through diaper changes, swaddling, and baby holding techniques while Staci recovered. Talk about trial by fire. I had never touched a diaper in my life and by the first night I was changing them on my own. It was all pretty scary for a lot of different reasons, but it was so nice having Staci there with to coach me through it all from the bed.
Most of the rest of the story is all kind of a blur with a lot of awesome things that I have already gotten to experience as a father. Over a few following posts I hope to share some more of my journey into parenthood. It’s been a lot of work and not a lot of sleep, but every second has been so worth it. Even after 6 weeks, it still feels funny to know that I am a dad!
Every time I lay eyes on the little guy I find myself staring for minutes at a time! And so I leave you with a few of my favorite pics of the little guy!
The two loves of my life together for the first time
Three Generations of Elizondo Boys
First Diaper Change
Father and son
From his first home sponge bath
Playtime with daddy!
A Picture from Josiah’s photo shoot with Ashley Fisher Photography (click for link) at one week old (those are my hands he fit so small into)