Leaving Stinks

Actually, the words that came out of my mouth as tears were streaming down my face yesterday were, “Leaving sucks.  So bad.”

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It seems like I have to tell another group of people bye every day.  And therefore I’ve been crying every day.  I’ve moved a ton since I was little, and it’s always been hard to leave friends and family, but this time has just been different.  When I was growing up, I was devastated to leave my friends, but then I went to my new school and made new friends.  And since we were always within a few hours of our old town, I could still see my friends and family that we left.

When I left for college in Dallas (2.5 – 3 hrs away) I was so excited to start this new phase of my life.  And I also knew that I’d be back in town for every break and on some weekends and things.  When I took a year away from school to go to The Forge, I thought that I’d be back at DBU the following year, and I was able to come and visit a lot, so it wasn’t as hard either.  Moving back to my hometown in Oklahoma was easy since it’s where I grew up (for the most part).  It was also easier because all of “My Forgies” were going in different directions after the program.

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But this time has been SO much harder than I expected.  I think I pushed the leaving part out of my head for as long as possible because I didn’t want to think about that part.  It’s like I knew that we were going to leave people we love, but I didn’t really know it.  Now I do.  This sounds super dramatic, and I’m not meaning to be, but I feel like a little part of me breaks off every time we have to say goodbye again.

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Thursday night was so hard.  As Michael said in his last post, we’ve become really involved in the college ministry at the BSU here in town.  He’s been leading worship for them for about a year and a half, and I started going with him on Thursday nights last fall.  Then in the spring, I started leading a Bible study at our house for some of the girls.  We went through Beth Moore’s “Believing God”.  As anyone who’s gone through a weekly Bible study knows, you get super close to the people in your group.

By the time this fall semester started, Michael and I knew that we would probably be leaving soon, so I didn’t start another Bible study.  Instead, we had “girls’ night”!  We played games one week, and then these last two weeks we’ve watched movies.  Some of the same girls from last spring came, and then some of them were new.  I’ve just loved getting to know these girls.  It’s been a huge blessing to be able to share life with them over the past year.

Thursday night was our last night at the BSU.  We took this picture before things got started:

I love these girls.

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I had a few tears during the music, but I was able to hold it together pretty well.  But then Rob (the director) called us up to the front and gave us a gift from everyone and talked about our ministry there.  And as soon as we sat back down, I couldn’t hold it in anymore.  And when he’d finished the lesson and we started hugging / saying goodbye to all of the students, my heart was just breaking.

But we told them they could stop by next Tuesday night, so hopefully we’ll see a lot of them again.  And since they’re college students (well, most of them…a few are “oldies” like us), hopefully some of them will be able to take a road trip and come to visit sometime.

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And then yesterday was my last day of work.

I’ve been at my company for a little over two years.  And during that time I’ve made some really good friendships.  There are only seven people in our department, so we really had an opportunity to get close.  It wasn’t just a place of employment where we only talked business.  We talked about everything.  And we shared life together.

When I came back from lunch, they had a little “going away” thing for me.  All three of the departments on our side of the 4th floor had gone together and given me a sweet card and a beautiful plaque and wall cross.  One of the other departments’ supervisors had also made an incredible pineapple cake/bar dessert.  It was so sweet.

After I completed my exit interview, I came back to  pack my desk area.  One of my friends stood and talked with me the whole time to help keep me distracted.  When everything was ready, Michael came to pick me up so he could carry everything.  Two of the people in our department were already gone, but the rest of us took a picture.

After we’d finished laughing about Adam (our boss) being so much taller than us, it was time for goodbye.  I started getting really teary-eyed after I’d given hugs.  I really couldn’t ask for better co-workers.

By the time we made it to the elevator, I couldn’t take it.  It just felt so final.  I’d like to think that we’ll see each other again, but the truth is that we probably won’t.  And the reality of that hit me hard.  I cried for the next half-hour — I just couldn’t stop.  I’m thankful that God allowed me to work with such great people for the past two years.

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Last night we went and spent time with my aunt/cousin Michael and her husband and little boy.  (I wrote about being bossy to her when we were little a few months ago.)  We had SUCH a good time.  We always love going over and spending time with them.   I just wish we’d been able to more.  Michael let me help give baby P a bath and get him all ready for bed and everything.  He’s just about the cutest thing in the world!  I didn’t get any pictures of him last night, but here are a few of him growing up over these past few months.

1 day old:

In July (he was about 2.5 months old):

 

And on Saturday with Michael and then with my dad:

Isn’t he the cutest thing?  He’s SO expressive with his eyes, and he’s getting to be so big.  We had a GREAT time eating dinner and visiting with them.  I told Michael I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye, so we’re going to see them next week before we move.  And thankfully I know we’ll see them again since they’re family : )  It was SUCH a good way to end a tough day of saying goodbye.

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–Staci

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Any tips on saying goodbye?  Or staying in touch?

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About mselizondo

We've been married since December of 2008, and our son, Josiah, was born in July of 2012. We love spending time with family, running, music, traveling, and reaching out to others as a family. View all posts by mselizondo

2 responses to “Leaving Stinks

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