In case you’re not familiar with Jon Acuff, he is a great Christian writer/blogger/speaker. Staci found him and introduced his blog to me. Back then he only had his blog “StuffChristiansLike” (SCL). Now he’s blogging about much more than that. You can check him out HERE. So if you’re not familiar with what he writes on the SCL blog, Jon takes a satirical approach to all of the little Christian nuances that we all know are silly, but do anyway. I.e. the side hug, the metrosexual worship leader, the guitar kid in the youth group, the kid who always wears shorts even when its 2 degrees outside, the Jesus Juke, leaving church early, and much more.
So this will be my attempt to writing an SCL-esque post… hope you like it.
Yes, because I know it’s wrong to tell lies… I will now tell you the truth about the Christian Giveaway.
What is a Christian Giveaway, you ask? Well they’re gimmicks that the church is really good about using as a means to draw people to church or another Christian activity. Some keep it low key – Christian CD, “Facing the Giants” DVD, Christian Concert tickets, etc. Some churches pull out the big guns – $100 or more prize, new plasma screen TVs, X-boxes, etc.
So, as many of you know, Staci and I were recently in Dallas for the Catalyst conference. It was an incredibly amazing time! We sang, we learned, we fellowshipped! It was a cornucopia of Christian love and camaraderie! But at the same time this weekend was difficult. Many of us (and by many I mean probably everyone attending the conference) were made aware of the deep-dark sin that lies inside of us. This sin is called “I-really-wish-I-won-that-giveaway-but-because-we’re-at-a-Christian-get-together-I-have-to-pretend-to-be-happy-for-you-winning-so-I-don’t-look-like-a-jerk” syndrome.
Don’t deny it! I know you’ve been there.
I experienced this emotion strongly on Tuesday night. Staci and I went to a book signing by Jon Acuff at Books-a-Million in the mall. We knew there was going to be a random drawing for a $500 giveaway (yes, even Acuff bribed us to come… of course we would have been there either way). We got there, got our booked signed, and filled out our raffle ticket…
And then the moment came.
“Attention everyone, it’s time for the $500 drawing.” Ears and eyes perk up and all is silent.
The tension in the air is so thick you can cut it with a knife.
Will it be me? Please be me! You know what I could do with $500!!! Please, God, I’ve been so good.
“And the winner is….. (Insert name of some other random lucky person here)!”
And the crowd goes wild! Everyone laughs and claps and congratulates the winner….
But I know what’s really going through everyone’s head… I really wanna punch that guy in the nose and take that money!
Oh yes, we all have this feeling but we play it off all jolly, like the guy won the money to split it all with us. Well I’m calling everyone out right now! I know what’s really going on deep inside… you can’t hide…
Or maybe that’s just me and my thoughts, and I have major issues…. yup, probably that. 🙂