Tag Archives: sarcasm

The 2011 NBA Finals – By M

Torn…. torn in two!!!  That’s how I feel about the NBA Finals this year.  I have to admit that I’m still mad that my Spurs couldn’t seem to cut it this post season.  It’s extra dissappointing considering how solid of a year we put together.

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But now I feel like I need to choose between evils; the Dallas “Wavs” (Mavericks) or the Miami “Superfriends” (Heat).  I know that pretty much any non-Heat fan is going for the Mavs… and the truth is if it were any other team in the league (yes, even the Lakers – eeew, that’s hard to say) I would be rooting for them.  However, the dilemma is found in the fact that the Mavs are even more of a nemesis to the Spurs than the Lakers, Heat, or any other team in the league.  We live way too close in proximity, I have way too many mav fans as friends, and they’re really good at talk but have never had any grounds to back it up.  I will say Nowitzki and Kidd have worked their rears off in more than stellar (Hall of Fame, really) careers, and they are definitely in an elite that deserve rings.  The Problem is Terry drives me nuts, I have no respect for Mark Cuban, and I totally love the bragging rights!

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So here I am stuck between choosing Lebron (who is definitely great as well, but I’m a loyalist and believe he should have stuck with the Cavs) or the Mavs…. dang, this just did not turn out well for Spurs fans…

The truth is, I do believe the Heat have a couple of titles coming their way.  Although I would love to see that never happen, I believe it will.  So why not start now… maybe this would be their only triumph…. who knows…

But for the sake of all Spurs-loving fans out there, I just can’t get myself to root for D-town.  Sorry I can’t keep it in Texas this time… still, much love to all my mavs-loving friends out there, and the best of luck to both teams.

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Who is your pick for the Finals (biased – like me, or un-biased)?  Who’s your number one team in the league (obviously you already know mine)?

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-M

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The Truth About Christian Giveaways – By M

In case you’re not familiar with Jon Acuff, he is a great Christian writer/blogger/speaker.  Staci found him and introduced his blog to me.  Back then he only had his blog “StuffChristiansLike” (SCL).  Now he’s blogging about much more than that.  You can check him out HERE.  So if you’re not familiar with what he writes on the SCL blog, Jon takes a satirical approach to all of the little Christian nuances that we all know are silly, but do anyway.  I.e. the side hug, the metrosexual worship leader, the guitar kid in the youth group, the kid who always wears shorts even when its 2 degrees outside, the Jesus Juke, leaving church early, and much more.

So this will be my attempt to writing an SCL-esque post… hope you like it.

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Yes, because I know it’s wrong to tell lies… I will now tell you the truth about the Christian Giveaway.

What is a Christian Giveaway, you ask?  Well they’re gimmicks that the church is really good about using as a means to draw people to church or another Christian activity.  Some keep it low key – Christian CD, “Facing the Giants” DVD, Christian Concert tickets, etc.  Some churches pull out the big guns – $100 or more prize, new plasma screen TVs, X-boxes, etc.

So, as many of you know, Staci and I were recently in Dallas for the Catalyst conference.  It was an incredibly amazing time!  We sang, we learned, we fellowshipped!  It was a cornucopia of Christian love and camaraderie!  But at the same time this weekend was difficult.  Many of us (and by many I mean probably everyone attending the conference) were made aware of the deep-dark sin that lies inside of us.  This sin is called “I-really-wish-I-won-that-giveaway-but-because-we’re-at-a-Christian-get-together-I-have-to-pretend-to-be-happy-for-you-winning-so-I-don’t-look-like-a-jerk” syndrome.

Don’t deny it! I know you’ve been there.

I experienced this emotion strongly on Tuesday night.  Staci and I went to a book signing by Jon Acuff at Books-a-Million in the mall.  We knew there was going to be a random drawing for a $500 giveaway (yes, even Acuff bribed us to come… of course we would have been there either way).  We got there, got our booked signed, and filled out our raffle ticket…

And waited.

And then the moment came.

“Attention everyone, it’s time for the $500 drawing.”  Ears and eyes perk up and all is silent.

The tension in the air is so thick you can cut it with a knife.

Will it be me? Please be me! You know what I could do with $500!!!  Please, God, I’ve been so good.

“And the winner is….. (Insert name of some other random lucky person here)!”

And the crowd goes wild!  Everyone laughs and claps and congratulates the winner….

But I know what’s really going through everyone’s head… I really wanna punch that guy in the nose and take that money!

Oh yes, we all have this feeling but we play it off all jolly, like the guy won the money to split it all with us.  Well I’m calling everyone out right now!  I know what’s really going on deep inside… you can’t hide…

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Or maybe that’s just me and my thoughts, and I have major issues…. yup, probably that.  🙂

oh well…

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Have you ever been the lucky recipient of a Christian Giveaway?  What’d you win, you lucky dog?!

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-M


Man-Post! …(or at least a post put up by a man)

Hi there!

This is not Staci… this is her amazing, awesome, attractive, and seriously weird husband, Michael.  This is my first post… so, I apologize for poor typing, gramatical errors, and being a little over the top.  Anyhow… I was reading an article today, and shared about it with Staci.  She told me I should post it… so if you don’t enjoy this post, don’t blame me… blame her because she told me to share it 🙂

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Now for the good stuff:

So I was reading this article today that I saw on my Yahoo! Homepage, and you can follow this link to a video of the news story. (If you followed the link skip ahead, if you didnt continue reading…) Apparently, Cambridge, Mass is beginning to add pictures of, and instructions to, yoga moves on their parking tickets, so that you will be more relaxed when you get one.

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Isn’t that ridiculous?!  I mean really?  That would make me feel insulted!  Am I a child that putting pictures on a ticket is supposd to help me not be mad?!   Let’s use our imaginations here…

You wouldn’t put a picture of Elmo on your spanking paddle for your children would you?  “Hey son, you should enjoy these light slams on your rear end a little more cause Elmo is smiling at you.”  No, He is mocking me! Is what the kid would think!

I mean, Honestly, It’s like you just got dumped on and then they gave you a sticker and said “Here! Be Happy :)”

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This whole thing is so ridiculous that the news anchors couldn’t even make this into a serious story!

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There’s just so many better things you could do…

Like put a joke on the ticket instead, that might at least make me laugh

Maybe tape a dum-dum sucker onto the ticket

or best of all… just leave it a plain old ticket!  It’s a ticket for goodness sake! Nobody will ever be happy getting a ticket no matter what you do!

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Anyway.   Now that that is off my chest… Do you find this as ridiculous as I do? … and secondly, what is something (in your opinion) that people do that they think is a good idea when it’s really a terrible one?

–Michael

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“Bitterness is Sexy”

I have to share these lyrics.  I woke up at 5:45 this morning with this song in my head, and couldn’t go back to sleep.  Yesterday I said I’d post them sometime since they’re my favorite Levi Smith lyrics…and maybe if I post them today they’ll get out of my head.  : )

Oh — and if you get a chance, try to listen to it on iTunes or MySpace or something.  It’s upbeat and catchy.  You’d never know it was about being dumped if you weren’t listening to the words.

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Bitterness is Sexy by Levi Smith

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“We can still be friends”
That’s the consolation prize you gave me
In hushed tones over gourmet coffee
And I mean no offense
But you were quite a waste of time and money
Not to mention dignity
So don’t get me wrong
I want you to be happy
As long as it’s with me
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One day you’re gonna’ want me
But it’ll prob’ly be too late by then
One day you’re gonna’ want me
At least that’s what I say to all my friends
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Alright, so here’s the plan:
You go ahead and keep your options open
While I stay here and lose all hope in love
And don’t you understand?
I am lonely, but I need another friend like you need another compliment
Don’t get me wrong
I want you to be happy
As long as it’s with me
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One day you’re gonna’ want me
But it’ll prob’ly be too late by then
One day you’re gonna’ want me
At least that’s what I say to all my friends
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So thank you for leading me on
It’s nice to feel attractive
Don’t you agree?
So I hope someone hears this song
That thinks bitterness is sexy
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One day you’re gonna’ want me
But it’ll prob’ly be too late by then
One day you’re gonna’ want me
At least that’s what I say to all my friends
One day you’re gonna want me
But it’ll prob’ly be too late by then
One day you’re gonna’ want me
At least that’s what I say to all my friends

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Aren’t they great?  So clever.

The last two times the chorus is sung, all of these guys join in, and I picture them all waving their mugs in the air with the music (think the bar scene with Gaston in Beauty and the Beast).  Yeah, my mind makes up weird things.

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–Staci

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Back Pain is Loads of Fun

…especially when I get to wear an awesome, comfortable, attractive brace.

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I think it’s my favorite trait that my parents passed on to me.

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–Staci

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